I broke my wallet, sends never confirm now.

As you figured out, the root problem is we shouldn't be counting or spending transactions until they have at least 1 confirmation.  0/unconfirmed transactions are very much second class citizens.  At most, they are advice that something has been received, but counting them as balance or spending them is premature.

I made changes so they show up in lighter print, with the credit amount in square brackets like [+1.23], and the amount not counted towards your balance and not available for spending.  This doesn't apply to transactions you sent, which you implicitly trust, since you wrote them.

I didn't make it (+1.23) because parenthesis in accounting means negative.  I hope square brackets is different enough to be clear what is meant.

The JSON-RPC interface can still see 0/unconfirmed if it wants by specifying 0 confirmations.

I uploaded the changes to SVN rev 158.  I will post a 0.3.13 RC shortly.

If you have any of these transactions in your wallet, do not send any payments until you've upgraded to 0.3.13, which will be coming soon.

If you've already sent any of these transactions, or you're the creator of them, then use theymos' patch or make the following change and use it to send your clean transactions to a new wallet to clean things up.

change:
    if (pcoin->GetDepthInMainChain() < 1 && pcoin->GetDebit() <= 0)
        continue;
to:
    if (pcoin->GetDepthInMainChain() < 1)
        continue;

That's going to be more of a SelectCoins thing.

SVN rev 161 has a refinement to recursively determine if your own unconfirmed transactions can be spent.  This is needed because you should be able to spend your own change right away.

The new recursive determination is: 0/unconfirmed can be spent if it's yours and all its dependencies are either in a block or also yours.

Here's a Windows build:
http://www.bitcoin.org/download/bitcoin-0.3.13.2-win32-setup.exe

This version is an improvement if you already had a 0/unconfirmed transaction and might have already spent it.  If you were the original creator of a 0/unconfirmed transaction, you still need theymos' patch instead.